
Who’s Holding You Up?
There came a moment in my adult life when I began to realize that something was missing. I had spent many years living with excuses for why I could not accomplish what I myself wanted to do, and who I myself longed to be.
I wondered so many times, why all the areas of my life were so out of sync? I always put on a good show, a smile to hide my distress. Why bring anyone else down? Getting my body, mind and spirit under some control seemed like a mystery to me. Did it start as the wrong conclusion of a shy child who wished so desperately to be picked, that she wasn’t worthy?
Could it have been because I grew up as one whose identity was so attached to being a part of a large family of children, that when left adrift as an adult, I found myself faltering? Was having a good man choose to love and marry me, that set me to doubting in his love, if I was hiding the real me behind a mask? The shame of knowing the truth, that I didn’t even know myself, may have led me to the wrong conclusion that I couldn’t be loved.
There came a day when something changed for me. It was a process. It didn’t all happen at once. But, I began to really want for things to change for the better. I began to need to stop living behind a mask of happiness. I began to want to stop looking back over my shoulder.
I began to accept help from those who wanted to lead me forward. A great counselor, a patient spouse, and a friend who finally breached the walls I’d set up, all helped me. And when I finally held onto a dear friend’s hand to walk to the mirror; this time I really looked. I saw that it wasn’t my parents, or my family, or lack of talent, or my genes, or even learning difficulties, or lack of training, or anything else I had ever blamed it on. This time when I looked in the mirror I saw who was holding me up; all along it was ME!
Who is holding you up?
Here are some things to ponder:
- As much as it is possible for you, bridge the divide, forgive, and seek reconciliation in your family relationships.
- Validate the gifts and talents that you have, and take the time to develop them.
- Don’t let pride keep you from asking for a little help or counsel along the way.
- Work each day to bring peace to all parts of your personal life; body, mind and spirit.
- If you haven’t explored how faith fits into valuing yourself, give Your Creator a chance!
Jesus has made all the difference for me!