Who’s Holding You Up?

There came a moment in my adult life when I began to realize that something was missing. I had spent many years living with excuses for why I could not accomplish what I myself wanted to do, and who I myself longed to be.

I wondered so many times, why all the areas of my life were so out of sync? I always put on a good show, a smile to hide my distress.  Why bring anyone else down? Getting my body, mind and spirit under some control seemed like a mystery to me. Did it start as the wrong conclusion of a shy child who wished so desperately to be picked, that she wasn’t worthy?

Could it have been because I grew up as one whose identity was so attached to being a part of a large family of children, that when left adrift as an adult, I found myself faltering? Was having a good man choose to love and marry me, that set me to doubting in his love, if I was hiding the real me behind a mask? The shame of knowing the truth, that I didn’t even know myself, may have led me to the wrong conclusion that I couldn’t be loved. 

There came a day when something changed for me.  It was a process.  It didn’t all happen at once.  But, I began to really want for things to change for the better. I began to need to stop living behind a mask of happiness. I began to want to stop looking back over my shoulder.

I began to accept help from those who wanted to lead me forward.  A great counselor, a patient spouse, and a friend who finally breached the walls I’d set up, all helped me. And when I finally held onto a dear friend’s hand to walk to the mirror; this time I really looked. I saw that it wasn’t my parents, or my family, or lack of talent, or my genes, or even learning difficulties, or lack of training, or anything else I had ever blamed it on. This time when I looked in the mirror I saw who was holding me up; all along it was ME!

Who is holding you up?

Here are some things to ponder:

  1. As much as it is possible for you, bridge the divide, forgive, and seek reconciliation in your family relationships.
  2. Validate the gifts and talents that you have, and take the time to develop them.
  3. Don’t let pride keep you from asking for a little help or counsel along the way.
  4. Work each day to bring peace to all parts of your personal life; body, mind and spirit.
  5. If you haven’t explored how faith fits into valuing yourself, give Your Creator a chance!              

Jesus has made all the difference for me!